Arranging a child's funeral
We carry out funerals for children under the age of 16 free of charge. We are here to guide you through all the arrangements, every step of the way. Please bear in mind, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Everyone is different. Take your time making decisions and choices and don’t be afraid to think things through.
What we will do
- Collect your child and bring him or her into our care
- Provide you with the professional services of Hayley Owen, qualified funeral director, as well as other necessary staff, free of charge, plus the use of our chapel of rest. We will help you make alternative arrangements if you wish your child to be at home with you
- Provide a hearse or limousine free of charge on the day of the funeral
- Provide a coffin up to the value of £200
There are, of course, a wide range of ways you can personalise arrangements (such as a different coffin choice) and these will usually be chargeable items. Invoices for funeral costs that we pay to others on your behalf, including church or cemetery fees, grave digging, press announcements and floral tributes will be sent to you after the funeral.
There are many ways you can participate in funeral arrangements, you can be involved as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. Please don’t be afraid to ask us anything. It may be that you wish to be involved in dressing your child, carrying the coffin, filling the grave or designing the service. It is not unusual following the loss of a baby to organise a photographer or have tiny plaster casts made of his or her hands and feet.
Support
Grieving for a child is often a very long process. Many bereaved parents find talking to each other about their feelings a big help. Some find they need spiritual and/or grief support from a minister or experienced bereavement or relationship counsellor. Others draw comfort from bereavement groups.
We are here to offer our guidance and support at what we know is an incredibly difficult time.
Other children
When there are other youngsters in the family, they too can feel very sad and confused about the death of a sibling. Parents usually find it helps to be honest and open from the start.
Children sense when there is something wrong and when their parents are upset. Making time to sit quietly with them and tell them the truth in a loving, gentle way seems to help. Even younger children are often able to understand in their own way, more than we might expect.
Children can be comforted when they feel included, when we allow them into our own grief and explain why we are hurting.
Financial assistance
Financial support is available from the Child Funeral Charity to help with such funeral costs, together with practical advice and guidance. If you need financial assistance in paying for a child's funeral please ask us to refer you.
The CuddleCot
Giving grieving families the gift of time
We are the only funeral directors in York to own a CuddleCot. They are used in thousands of hospitals across the world, allowing families to spend precious time with their baby.
Providing grieving families time through the use of the CuddleCot is internationally encouraged by midwives, bereavement practitioners and academics. Time allows parents to form an important bond with their baby and helps them in dealing with their loss. Cooling the baby is absolutely essential and this is where the CuddleCot comes in as it cools to an ideal temperature for preserving baby without being too cold for the parents.
How it works
The CuddleCot cooling pad is placed in any Moses basket, crib or bed. It is connected by a specially insulated hose and is quietly cooled using the cooling unit. The thin, soft cooling pad is placed on top of the soft mattress which ensures the baby is fully cushioned and comfortable. It is designed to be used with the specially adapted Shnuggle Moses basket which we also have at our premises. The basket has been specially moulded to accommodate the cooling pad and hose. The CuddleCot is portable and simple to use with minimal professional instruction. In addition, it allows you to cool babies at home in their own cot, crib or Moses basket.